By Nick • Lifestyle • 9 Jan 2012

This morning my life changed; for the better, for the long term, and for the measly price of $120.

I’m not that averse to getting up early. I like being out of bed and moving and especially having a bit of day to enjoy before setting out for work. This is one of the reasons why I love summer so much – the sun wakes me up around 6.30, gently, and I get out of bed straight away feeling energized.

In the WINTER though I wake up like it’s a goddamn air-raid in response to my alarm and then, depending on how tired I am, fall asleep again on the couch in the lounge in response to the oppressive darkness outside. It sucked, it usurped my blissful pre-work coffee chilling time, but it was my lot in life; my cross to bear.

Until now.

Now I wake up like this.


Only calmer, faster, and with a motorbike.

Hello Day. Let’s Dance.

How did $120 bring me such delight?

In a paper bag containing a box with a Philips logo on the side. Discreetly elegant even.

Inside the box was a Philips Wake Up Light. If you’ve never heard of a Philips wake up light it’s a damn lucky thing you’re reading this. If you have heard of a Philips wake up light and thought ‘pffftt, that sounds like a total crock’ then YOU. WERE. WRONG.

It’s like a gradual sunrise in your bedroom every morning, no matter how bleak the day is outside. Birds sing. Innocent children laugh in delight. Fresh scones are left on a nearby windowsill. If you’re lucky, like me, a French milkmaid is by your side.

Philips wake up light. Buy one today, start having a better life immediately. Unless it’s summer where you are in which case you’ll have to wait 4 months you bastard.

8 Responses

  1. James

    The problem is less the waking up and more the getting up. Is there an alarm clock that makes the outside world warm and cosy and free of responsibility?

    • Nick

      But that’s just it – it’s getting up and immediately having to deal with cold and responsibility before you’re even properly awake that’s the worst.

      What it WILL do is make you so carefree and vibrant that things which previously bought cold, harshness, and frustrating responsibility into your life will be overcome with zen-like composure and inner peace.

  2. Andrew Crutchley

    Nice, even on the bike you should still wear the cowboy hat – proper savage!

  3. Heather

    There is also an iPhone ap for that. It works on circadian rhythms. Also I’m waking up to beautiful sunshine this week in Fremantle. Oh, and a beach.

    • Nick

      Yeah, but my iPhone screen doesn’t go to 250lux.

      Sunshine and a beach is pretty sweet. Full of sharks, of course, but whatever. Did you get a pool?

  4. Hopefully no one is seeing my massive spamming of your comments (feel free to moderate in moderation)… but, check out Redshift (or similar). It’s mainly for Linux – but it tones down the colours on your screen as it becomes night. Makes your brain happier for sleep time..

    • Nick

      hoooooo…. I need that. I sold out and switched to mac though. Under duress at the time, but I don’t regret it. I’m sure there’s some app that does the same thing though for 20 or 30 bucks. Or an apple screen adaptive layer for 300.

      Currently shopping for desk lamps. Outrageous!